Bolero: The One Movie I Have Seen That I Wish Could Be Erased From My Memory

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If you could have 1 movie that you’ve seen in the past erased from your memory, what movie would that be and why?
That’s easy. Bolero.
© 1984 Cannon Film Group
Now, I have seen more than my fair share of movies that, for one reason or another, I don’t enjoy at all or once liked but have changed my mind about as I have grown older. Me Before You is an example of the former; Avatar and Midway are exemplars of the latter.
But writer-director John Derek’s softcore porn movie disguised as an “adventure in ecstasy” is still the dumbest, most boring film I ever paid a movie ticket to go see in an actual multiplex.
It’s so bad, in fact, that my friends (yes, I went with a coed group of buds from college) and I decided, collectively, that as spectacular as Bo Derek looks naked, she was way too old to play a nubile if naive girl in her 20s. The story was just a barely-there plot woven together around a series of nude scenes (including the obligatory girl-girl scene) that were excuses for John Derek to show off his wife’s naked body.
It was such a bad movie that we did something we had not done before as a group and never did again: before Bolero was halfway through, we all got up from our seats and walked out. We didn’t even go to the box office and ask for our money back; we just hauled ass and went to eat at a nearby Pizza Hut.

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