Bloggin' On: Musings for Monday, July 20, 2020

My older half-sister Victoria sometime in 2014. 

Good afternoon, Dear Reader. It’s late afternoon on this Monday, July 20, 2020. As I type this, the temperature outside is 90˚F under mostly cloudy skies. With humidity at 63% and a 7 mph breeze blowing from the east, the feels-like temperature is 101˚F. As much as I’d love to go out for even a brief walk like I used to when I had a home in Miami, I don’t think I could stand that sort of hot mugginess.

Anyway, yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of Mom’s death. I have been trying my best to not dwell on things, or to wonder what would have happened if things had somehow been right between my half-sister Victoria and me. I long ago came to accept that my mother’s quality-of-life was almost non-existent during her last two years –  especially the last six months – of her 86 years on Earth and that her passing was a release from the physical and emotional hell she was enduring.

I’ve also come to grips with the reality that my half-sister’s mental health issues are the root cause of the dysfunction in the little triad that was my immediate family. I’m not a mental health professional, nor do I pretend to be one, but I can do research on mental health issues and look up conditions such as narcissistic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder, and I can have educated guesses about, what, exactly, makes my half-sister such a difficult person to contend with.

The more research that I do, in tandem with categorizing the behaviors I observed during all my interactions with my halfie, I become even more convinced that Vicky may have some version of narcissistic personality disorder. Per the Mayo Clinic, these are some of the symptoms:

• Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance
• Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration
• Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
• Exaggerate achievements and talents
• Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
• Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people
• Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior
• Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations
• Take advantage of others to get what they want
• Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
• Be envious of others and believe others envy them
• Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious
• Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

• Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment
• Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted
• React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior
• Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior
• Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change
• Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection
• Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

In any case, I don’t think that my half-sister is faring too well these days as it is. Not only did she lose in probate court regarding her misguided “lost or destroyed will” petition and her bid to get half of Mom’s estate – including 50% of the townhouse – but apparently, she is not in good health.

This is the latest update I received from her paternal cousin, Juan Manuel:

Talking about Vicky, [it] seems to me that you are very outdated about her health: the hip replacement surgery was really fine and while doing the prescribed therapy  - that she was doing very successfully, one of those unlucky days, she tripped and fell down and it was a complete disaster. Her femur broke and the operation had to be repeated or done all over again. The process was really traumatic and very painful and the person who ha[s] been really helpful to her has been Mauricio. He's the one that Vicky can count on for everything she needs. Hospital, medical visits,  Doctors, therapy again, pharmacy, and general errands just to mention some. The whole thing was a mess to update you in case you didn't know. About the virus pandemic, she's been doing OK since she's very limited due to the surgery, etc , and the fact that her right knee is constantly hurting a lot.

Well, I hope she mends quickly and as painlessly as possible. I don’t like her much, but she is my half-sister, and I don’t wish her any ill.

That’s all the news that’s fit to print, at least for the moment. I’ve been up since before 7 AM and I’m a bit tired, so I am going to close for now. Until next time, Dear Reader, I’ll say goodbye…and catch you on the sunny side of things!

Source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662