Waiting for My Own Words: The Emotional Lag of Print-on-Demand

© 2025 Alex Diaz-Granados

Waiting for My Own Words: The Emotional Lag of Print-on-Demand

There’s a peculiar irony in being the author of a book and still having to wait—sometimes indefinitely—for a copy of your own work to arrive. Not a retail copy, mind you. Not something ordered by a stranger in Wisconsin who stumbled across your novel during a midnight scroll. No, I’m talking about an author’s copy. The kind Amazon prints on demand, ships at its leisure, and labels with the charmingly opaque tag: MOD Non-Retail.

I ordered my updated hardcover edition of Reunion: Coda on September 20. As of this writing—October 14—it remains in the “Not Shipped” purgatory of my Amazon orders queue. Estimated arrival? Allegedly Sunday. But I’ve learned not to get emotionally attached to those dates. They’re more aspiration than promise.

Now, I understand that author’s copies aren’t Amazon’s top priority. They don’t generate royalties. They don’t count toward sales metrics. They’re essentially the literary equivalent of a backstage pass—useful, sentimental, and entirely at the mercy of the print-on-demand gods.

But here’s the thing: this isn’t just a book. It’s my book. A revised edition. A ritual object. A physical anchor for a story I’ve labored over, updated, and emotionally stewarded through multiple drafts. And while I’m not expecting red carpet treatment, I do find it mildly absurd that the person who wrote the book is the last to receive it.

The delay wouldn’t sting quite so much if the book weren’t also emotionally stranded—its original hardcover still trapped in Miami, along with other personal artifacts that make writing feel like ritual rather than routine. This replacement copy was supposed to be a small act of reclamation. Instead, it’s become a case study in logistical indifference.

So I wait. Not with rage, but with a raised eyebrow and a quiet sigh. Because sometimes, being a self-published author means learning to navigate the gap between creation and delivery—with patience, humor, and the occasional sardonic blog post.