Writing 101: Adapting Prose Story to Screenplay Format - Part Three

Comparison: Prose Story Excerpt and Its Screenplay Adaptation

For readers who are curious about the difference between prose format and screenplay adaptations, I present an excerpt from the short story I wrote in 1998 and its still-in-progress script version. (The formatting in the screenplay section may look odd so please bear with me on this.)

Two girls, walking backward and waving their hands in leave-taking, turned around and saw me standing there, leaning against the wall with my hands jammed tightly in my jeans’ pockets. They smiled at me; one of them, a tall, pretty redhead whose name I didn’t remember, walked up to me and hugged me.

“Well, fellow graduate, we’re finally outta here,” the redhead said when we were apart once again. “I haven’t had a chance to ask, but what are your
plans, Jim?”

I smiled sheepishly. “I’m going to college in the fall,” I said.

“Where are you going to school?” asked the redhead’s companion, a blonde from my fifth period art class. Her name was Maria Theresa.

“Ah, Harvard,” I said.

“Congratulations,” Maria Theresa said politely.

“Good luck,” said Redhead with more enthusiasm. She leaned close and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. I blushed, embarrassed because I couldn’t remember her name.

“Well,” Maria Theresa said presently, “see you at the graduation.” She led Redhead away like a woman leading her pet poodle. Redhead looked back at me over her shoulder and waved.

I stood there quietly, debating whether or not to go inside the chorus room. I glanced at my watch. It was now 2:22 p.m.; only eight minutes left. When that final bell rang, a school year – and a phase of my life – would end.


FADE IN:

INT. SOUTH MIAMI HIGH - MUSIC DEPARTMENT WING CORRIDOR - AFTERNOON

We see JIM standing in the hallway, leaning against the wall opposite the closed door of South Miami Senior High's choral practice room. He looks a bit on edge and is trying to catch his breath after his sprint down the stairs from the second floor.

As he stands there, the door swings open with a loud metallic squeak and two girls (MARIA and TERESA) step out of the chorus room.

ANGLE ON

MARIA AND TERESA

We SEE two girls in their late teens, dressed in casual attire (jeans, blouses, comfortable shoes, etc. which are appropriate for a high school's dress code of the early 1980s.) MARIA is the clear "alpha" of the two, not just because she's taller and a tad more attractive than TERESA, but she's also the more outgoing and has presence. She smiles at JIM.

BACK TO SCENE

JIM looks at the two girls and smiles back politely in recognition, though he clearly simply wants to go inside the practice room.

JIM
Hi, guys. What's up?

MARIA
Well, fellow graduate, we're finally outta here.

ANGLE ON

JIM

JIM tries not to look as though he doesn't want to talk to his two classmates, but we see his feet shifting ever so slightly as he holds his backpack in one hand.

BACK TO SCENE

MARIA looks at JIM quizzically but doesn't read his body language. TERESA glances at MARIA, then at JIM.

JIM
Yeah. Hard to believe, huh? It seems like only a few weeks ago we were 10th graders trying to fit in. In two days we get our diplomas. It's -
(beat)
Surreal.

ANGLE ON

MARIA AND TERESA

MARIA smiles at this. TERESA, not so subtly, looks at her watch.

BACK TO SCENE

JIM notices TERESA'S "let's get going already" body language; he feels the same way but is far too polite to simply press on past the two girls.

MARIA nods at JIM'S comment, then seems to remember something.

MARIA
I haven't had a chance to ask, but what are your plans, Jim?

JIM
I’m going to college in the fall.

TERESA, tired of being in the background, decides to speak up.

TERESA
Really? Where? Miami-Dade? Florida International? Where?

JIM
Um, none of those, actually. I was, um, accepted to Harvard.

MARIA, who's the more perceptive of the two girls, brightens up and smiles appreciatively.

MARIA
That's awesome!

ANGLE ON

MARIA and TERESA

BACK TO SCENE

JIM blushes. He's both proud of having been accepted to an Ivy League school and a bit wary about making a big deal about it.

MARIA knows that getting into Harvard is not easy, and she's clearly pleased.

MARIA
Congratulations, Jim!

She leans over and plants a quick kiss on JIM'S cheek.

ANGLE ON

JIM blushes.

JIM
Thanks!

BACK TO SCENE

TERESA
Congratulations.

JIM notices TERESA'S lack of enthusiasm but chooses to ignore it. His gaze turns, none too subtly, toward the closed door just behind the girls.

MARIA and TERESA exchange glances, the latter girl's body language clearly reflecting a "come on, let's go already" attitude.

MARIA
Well, it was good seeing you, but we have to get going. Graduation party at Dean's house later and we gotta get ready. See you at commencement?

JIM
Wouldn't miss it!
(beat)
I think Mark's having a party later, too - maybe you can drop by?

MARIA
Sure! Sounds like fun. But if not, we'll see you on Thursday at graduation.